❄ but the most special are the most lonely ❄

[letmetakeaselfie]

I. ( tony + steve + bruce )

[ tony's face-plate comes up, all but dragging steve over the threshold. he just has to focus on keeping the super soldier awake so they can get to bruce and get patched up. and then everything will be fine - it'll all be fine. nevermind that cap's best friend is now a psycho killer and is totally on the loose and natasha blew up s.h.i.e.l.d. via the interwebs and put a huge target on all of their heads.

at least he's not panicking.

he has no actual way of knowing how injured he personally is under the suit, either. he's in so much shock and so jacked up on adrenaline that anything is possible. he just hopes it isn't beyond the doctor's scope. JARVIS puts in the passcode wirelessly so tony can carry steve through the door, princess-style. ]

Medic? We need a medic... [ the joke dies on his lips, meeting bruce's gaze across the room. god is he a sight for sore eyes. ]

II. ( tony + steve + bruce + pepper )

[ once tony and steve are cleaned up and back in their street clothes, they may as well get ready for the q&a that's coming. there are a lot of things he's still not willing to discuss - peggy and her husband; his father; bucky... but neither of them are going to get a choice. he loves pepper and bruce with all (both) his heart(s) but this is some heavy shit, so instead he just blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

it's also the dumbest. ] Widow will be happy you finally got yourself a date, huh, Cap? [ he nudges the other man's shoulder and looks to everyone else, sorry. that's the best he's got. ]

III. ( tony + steve )

[ tony wanders out to the living room, finding steve out on the couch where he'd left him. he knows just by the unsteady rise and fall of his chest that he's not sleeping. how could either of them after that? without saying a word, he slots his slighter frame in next to him, carefully avoiding both of their injuries and pulling out his phone. ]

I wasn't kidding about that like page, you know. [ he shows cap the facebook fan page that allegedly phil set up. it has a much more flattering image than the twitter. also 14 million something likes. ] You have almost as many fans as me.

[ he's not even being cheeky (much), he has over 19 million. ]

IV. ( tony + pepper )

[ pepper's not up yet and tony hasn't slept yet, which really, if it weren't so commonplace by now might be more traumatic. as it is, he eyes her heels at the base of the bed; she had fallen asleep in her clothes. poor pepper, he'd probably exhausted her and worried her sick with all of this. again, par for their course, but still.

before he can talk himself out of it, he sits on a corner of the bed and goes about trying to get his feet into her shoes. she would totally kill him if she woke up right now, but as they'd established that day they went to the park, it was really hard being short. ] What does she have, elf feet...?

[ he asks the open air, wobbling to his feet and immediately falling to the ground. this wasn't his best laid plan by far. he's just going to lay here for a while. this carpet is soft and his entire body is a bruise. ]

Comments

I.

[valuedstrength]

[It's not as bad as it could have been if Tony hadn't intervened. That's basically the running theme of Steve's life for a while now. Why break it up now? Steve, if he were having much in the way of coherent thought right now, would argue that his way would lay to rest any doubt on whether there was anything left of Bucky Barnes. Sure he'd be dead if he were wrong, but he was supposed to be dead decades ago anyways. Natasha and Tony had their whole lives ahead of them. They needed closure on whether or not one of the greatest assassins alive was still gunning for them.

Thankfully his thoughts are trained on simpler things like putting one foot in front of the other. Sure, he wasn't shot those extra two times, but the Winter Soldier still stabbed him more than once. A fight between two super soldiers was always destined to get brutal even with help towards the end. He might also a bullet lodged in his side, but hey it might have just grazed him. Who knows? Steve has done an excellent job ignoring the extent of his injuries so far or so he convinced himself. The fact that he hasn't even registered yet that he doesn't need to keep walking says everything about his condition.]

I can walk. [It comes out too delayed to be convincing. Everyone can keep on ignoring him when it comes to what is best for his physical well being.]

II.

[valuedstrength]

[Steve barely seems to register much of anything. His eyes are trained downward, vacantly staring at nothing in particular. He failed his best friend even more spectacularly than he originally thought. He gave up his life for nothing. The love of his life and his dearest living friends let this happen. One of them found out too late to even fix the mess he started and took an innocent woman, Tony's mother, down with him.

He's not at rock bottom. That would be the scenario where HYDRA won and everyone had been killed. He's pretty close. Despite seeming oblivious to Tony's joke and well everything, he still skips to the point.]

Where do you want to start? [He assumes they weren't sitting here wishing them well. They must have some information if only thanks to Natasha.]

III.

[valuedstrength]

[Steve opens his eyes briefly. He looks without ever really seeing the image in front of him. There's a hundred different ways he could play this. He could say he doesn't care, tell Tony he appreciates the distraction, ask him how feels about everything they learned, and so on. Instead he just shuts his eyes again.

He's too tired and hollowed out to pursue anything anymore except maybe what could possibly be Bucky or a monster wearing his friend's face. (As if he needed more reminders of how he made the ones who loved him suffer due to his weakness.)

That one would have to wait until he was (ironically enough) stronger.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he gets it, steve doesn't want his dumb jokes right now. tony moves to set his phone down on the table and considers just getting up and going back to bed. but that would require him not being the most stubborn jerk on the planet. sighing, he tucks himself in further, his arms folding over his chest and his face butting up against steve's throat.

let's sit here in silence then. ]

[valuedstrength]

[He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Steve thinks he sees the path ahead of him clearly. Get well, find the Winter Soldier, and let things happen as they will. He's got Tony insistently pressed to his side and he wonders if it will ever really happen. As much as he hates himself right now, Steve loves them more. He doesn't really want to leave them or to even hint that it's on his mind.

He doesn't know what to do. He's lost all over again.] It's not very marshmallow-y, is it?

[He doesn't even realize that he's said it until a moment after it comes out.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ tony lets out a fractured huff of a laugh against steve's hair, happy he didn't have to be the one to break it for once. he knows leaving is on steve's mind already, but that's why he has to stick to him like glue. there's no way he's letting him go this alone. ]

Did I get you accustomed to a certain lifestyle, Captain? [ said to the tone of 'poor babby' but just under the surface is serious and palpable concern. ]

[valuedstrength]

You did. [It's soft and honest. He's not talking about soft beds and sofa cushions. Tony got him used to living a life where he wasn't constantly on the edge of drowning. He was happy. Sure his job was frustrating, but that problem until the end felt so small compared to what he knew before. Peggy was dying, but she lived a long life with many accomplishments. He didn't give back as much as he wanted to his new found family, but he could do more for them than he ever could for the one he lost. Life wasn't perfect, but it was good. Now he's back to where he started before the Battle of New York took place; certain that all he gave to save others was meaningless in the end. It's a hard crash.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ tony knows what he means instantly, letting the feeling encapsulate his heart. steve was supposed to be here all along, but maybe it's better this way-- maybe it's the only way things would've been alright. ]

We'll find him, Steve. [ we'll save him. ]

IV.

[efficacy]

[ Pepper didn't mean to fall asleep at all, much less in her clothes, but the past several days haven't exactly been easy. The whole mess with SHIELD, Tony's absence, dealing with her own safety, keeping abreast of any updates Tony occasionally sent her way while trying to do whatever she could in her end to help and prepare for the aftermath -- as always, she does her best to plan ahead. All of it had been accompanied by constant worry, of course. Needless to say, sleep hasn't been a high priority, lately.

Pepper startles awake with a sharp intake of breath at the thump as Tony goes down, one hand clawing at the sheets as instant panic crawls up her throat, grogginess blurring her ability to think clearly and leaving her unable to immediately remember where she is. A small sound of distress squeaks past her lips, her heart hammering furiously inside her chest. Another second passes until she finally recognizes her surroundings and remembers what's been going on. Relaxing, she faceplants back into the pillows, sighing in relief.

Through a filter of cotton, feathers and unbound hair, she mumbles wearily, ] What are you doing?

[ ...She's fairly sure Tony's around the room. Somewhere. ]

[letmetakeaselfie]

...Nothing. This is a dream. Go back to sleep. [ he mutters into the carpet, sighing softly. he kicks the shoes away from his feet so if she looks over she hopefully won't piece together what he was doing.

he's seriously just going to lay here for as long as he can get away with though. ]

[efficacy]

Ohkay. [ She mumbles in sweet, sleepy agreement, not entirely conscious yet. All these years and she still doesn't wake up all that gracefully. A beat later, something finally connects. ] ...Wait.

[ Snuffling a little, she pushes up on the bed, bracing her weight on her arms as she peers down, squinting so hard it's a wonder she actually sees anything at all. In the same sluggish tone of the only half-awake, she wonders, ] Is there a reason you're down there and not up here?

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ tony shuts his eyes, thinking he actually got away with that for a second before -- yeah nope nothing gets by pepper potts he should really know better by now. ]

Too tired to move. [ his voice is muffled in the floor but probably clear enough to be made out. he was already in an extraordinary amount of pain and falling for a really stupid reason didn't help. he knows it's childish and it will only hurt worse if he doesn't get up soon but -- nope. still not moving. ]

[efficacy]

[ Slumping back down, Pepper rolls to her side like a lazy cat, still and silent for a moment as she closes her eyes, too, snuggling against the pillows. There's a plaintive note to her voice when she speaks up quietly again. ] But I miss you.

[ Right here next to me. ]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ his heart pangs with that simple statement, slowly rolling over so he can sit up, watching her from his low vantage point. ] Pepper, I--

[ it isn't time for apologies. will probably never be. but his chest feels like it's caving in on itself from the pressure, heart drumming along with the arc reactor. they both knew he couldn't make promises to stay safe, but he was supposed to at least try. ]

DISNEY SHENANIGANS

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ tony and pepper had finally showered and changed into pajamas at some point, and now he was clinging tightly to her, still without having slept yet. he'd dozed, a little, both after his card game with steve and now, but his body won't shut down. not with so much still looming over the horizon.

the door creeks and he's instantly on high-alert, body shielding hers even as the pleasant aroma of bacon fills the room. and that's when he recognizes the silhouette, squinting against the light from the hall. what time was it even? ] Steve?

[efficacy]

[ Pepper squeaks quietly in surprise, more at Tony's bulk squishing her a little in the process of valiantly protecting her against the intruder rather than Steve's sudden appearance in the doorway. Pepper blinks, registering the distinctive smell of bacon, chiming in after Tony; ]

...Did you make breakfast? [ Is it even morning? She doesn't know but Steve is the best anyway. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve blinks in surprise when Tony automatically shifts over Pepper when he (finally) manages to open the door using his more injured side. (He doesn't want to risk dropping the tray.)

He wasn't sure what he was expecting. Honestly most of his focus has been on trying to make up for his messed up shoulder while cooking and walking this over. He's usually more thoughtful than this.]

Sorry! Didn't think that one through. I... [He ceases his next series of apologies to nod.] Yeah, uh, surprise? I made breakfast. Sorry.

[letmetakeaselfie]

Sorry. [ tony mutters at the same time, shifting so he's not crushing pepper anymore, sitting up against the head-board. he squints one eye up at steve, the other refusing to open. ]

You are the only man I know who can apologize for making us breakfast, come on. Stop letting the light into our cave. [ he waves steve in, pulling pepper more gently against his side. ]

[efficacy]

[ Patting Tony's side gently in a wordless it's fine, Pepper struggles herself a bit more upright as well, letting Tony pull her against him. ]

That was thoughtful of you, Steve, thank you. Come and sit down.

[ Not like their giant bed lacks the space, she's not even sure why they have such huge beds everywhere. She smothers her concerns about whether or not Steve should be cooking anything while he's still in recovery, but she really has to put incredible effort into keeping her concerns to herself. They probably show on her expression, still. ]

[valuedstrength]

[He holds in an apology for letting the light in. Steve pushes his way past the door and knocks it shut with his foot. He crosses over and sets it down gently by them as he moves a little away not to knock anything over when he does sit on the edge of the bed. He is kind of heavy.

Steve sighs tiredly once he does. He used up a lot of energy doing this simple task. He does need to sit a minute before he gives them their privacy again. It doesn't take him long to catch that look from Pepper.]

It's okay. I know how to compensate for it. [Because that's reassuring, right? He really does think it should alleviate her worry. He didn't spend hours on this.] I'll be up in a minute, I promise.

[It's not like she invited him to sit in the first place. Very tellingly there's only two plates there. He was always going to drop this off and go.]

4 steeb

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ ever the engineer, tony slots the last pillow into place and stands up to observe their work. he grabs the blanket and gestures for steve to help him put it over the structure. ] You know, I've never actually made one of these before.

[ he had been missing out, this was totally great. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve yanks it over with his less injured arm and surveys what they have done. Not bad for two half-beaten old guys. He gives Tony a soft look at that, adding with a smile.] We used to make them with chairs. You know so they'd be taller.

[They cheated in other words since they didn't have enough pillows.] It's kind of nice to finally make a proper one.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ that actually makes him smile, shifting so he can crawl in, hoping there's enough room for steve inside. they'd used up every pillow in the house and he's about to find out if it was worth it. ]

Chairs probably would have been easier, but you know me. Since when do I ever take the easy road? [ he holds the blanket up so steve can pile in next to him. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve heads inside as carefully as he can as he makes a show of thinking this over.] I'd say only when you ask Pepper to get something for you off the really high shelves.

[letmetakeaselfie]

Wow. Wow. [ the fort wobbles but thanks to its structural integrity doesn't collapse. they're safe. ] I want to be offended but that's actually, like, really true.