❄ but the most special are the most lonely ❄

[letmetakeaselfie]

I. ( tony + steve + bruce )

[ tony's face-plate comes up, all but dragging steve over the threshold. he just has to focus on keeping the super soldier awake so they can get to bruce and get patched up. and then everything will be fine - it'll all be fine. nevermind that cap's best friend is now a psycho killer and is totally on the loose and natasha blew up s.h.i.e.l.d. via the interwebs and put a huge target on all of their heads.

at least he's not panicking.

he has no actual way of knowing how injured he personally is under the suit, either. he's in so much shock and so jacked up on adrenaline that anything is possible. he just hopes it isn't beyond the doctor's scope. JARVIS puts in the passcode wirelessly so tony can carry steve through the door, princess-style. ]

Medic? We need a medic... [ the joke dies on his lips, meeting bruce's gaze across the room. god is he a sight for sore eyes. ]

II. ( tony + steve + bruce + pepper )

[ once tony and steve are cleaned up and back in their street clothes, they may as well get ready for the q&a that's coming. there are a lot of things he's still not willing to discuss - peggy and her husband; his father; bucky... but neither of them are going to get a choice. he loves pepper and bruce with all (both) his heart(s) but this is some heavy shit, so instead he just blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

it's also the dumbest. ] Widow will be happy you finally got yourself a date, huh, Cap? [ he nudges the other man's shoulder and looks to everyone else, sorry. that's the best he's got. ]

III. ( tony + steve )

[ tony wanders out to the living room, finding steve out on the couch where he'd left him. he knows just by the unsteady rise and fall of his chest that he's not sleeping. how could either of them after that? without saying a word, he slots his slighter frame in next to him, carefully avoiding both of their injuries and pulling out his phone. ]

I wasn't kidding about that like page, you know. [ he shows cap the facebook fan page that allegedly phil set up. it has a much more flattering image than the twitter. also 14 million something likes. ] You have almost as many fans as me.

[ he's not even being cheeky (much), he has over 19 million. ]

IV. ( tony + pepper )

[ pepper's not up yet and tony hasn't slept yet, which really, if it weren't so commonplace by now might be more traumatic. as it is, he eyes her heels at the base of the bed; she had fallen asleep in her clothes. poor pepper, he'd probably exhausted her and worried her sick with all of this. again, par for their course, but still.

before he can talk himself out of it, he sits on a corner of the bed and goes about trying to get his feet into her shoes. she would totally kill him if she woke up right now, but as they'd established that day they went to the park, it was really hard being short. ] What does she have, elf feet...?

[ he asks the open air, wobbling to his feet and immediately falling to the ground. this wasn't his best laid plan by far. he's just going to lay here for a while. this carpet is soft and his entire body is a bruise. ]

Comments

[letmetakeaselfie]

You're a real asshole. [ but he doesn't say anything for a long moment, his hand coming up to cover steve's on his shoulder. ]

Getting old isn't all bad, you know. Pepper even digs the gray.

[valuedstrength]

[He softens a little.] I don't mean anything by it. I'm a little jealous if anything. I think it'd be nice to actually look your own age.

[It weirds him out to look and act like a twenty something when everyone treats him like an old man.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

You don't really want to look 90, do you? [ he keeps his hand on steve's as he cranes his neck to look at his face. it hurts to know that no matter how hard he tries he'll leave steve alone one day. just like peggy will. and pepper-- and all of them. he shouldn't have to go through all this. it isn't fair. but without the serum he'd be dead a million times over and that's not right either. he'll solve this -- he always does. ]

How's this, I'll be the old one from now on. Or maybe we can trade off.

[valuedstrength]

[He'd like to really live to ninety. Not just sleep through it. Steve starts to shrug with his bad shoulder by mistake, winces, and stops. He cocks his head to the side playfully with a glued on smile.]

Nah, it'd really kill the romance if Peggy never knew who I was. [A beat.] We'll trade off. I can't pretend to be young when I make a bunch of references no one else gets.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he lets go to reach up and poke steve's arm lightly. ] See, you are hurt. Old man.

[ they can trade-off. okay. he can live with that. ]

[valuedstrength]

[He frowns. Stop pointing out that he's all stabbed up on one side.] Yeah, yeah. Way to rub it in, kiddo.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ kiddo. even though he agreed to it he still slumps, looking away again. he remembers how it had felt to see steve with those kids in the park. that could've been him. would have been. ]

Peggy told me-- about the night she decided not to talk to Dad again. [ dad, not howard. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve looks down at him in alarm. He wants to ask so badly. It isn't his business. He can't intrude on ancient history especially since his voiding his right to be part of all this was made to be pointless in the end.]

... I'm glad she told you. [Because he must have needed the closure after finding out how close they all were once.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

It doesn't exactly surprise me that he was beligerent, you know. He was that a lot. [ but tony had still loved him, as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise. ]

But... But she met me that night. [ his eyes flick up to steve and here's where he just can't understand. he loves peggy because steve does, but he can't help but feel completely abandoned anyway. ] Baby me. I must have been adorable.

[ but it still wasn't enough. he wasn't. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve blinks down at him. For a second, he can't breathe. She was there with him and she still let Howard get to her? He can catch the meaning behind what he's saying clearly. Again he feels a twinge of jealousy and disappointment at the way things had played out even still knowing so little about it.]

Howard always said the wrong thing. Machines always came easier to him than people. Peggy, well, there was a reason she wasn't the automatic pick for the serum despite being way more qualified than me to handle it. When she got angry.... [He shakes his head.] It's not you. You know that, right? They were always stubborn and hot-headed.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ a permanent frown seems to have moulded itself to his face, it's hard for him to look at cap so he doesn't really try. he knows his dad was irrational and let his anger get the better of him. so of course peggy would be the same, if they were so tight. it made sense probably, like when he and rhodey broke his house... a few times. ]

I always make everything about me, right? [ the words come out almost hoarse, frown melting into something much more pathetic ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve runs his hand up and down Tony's arm. He smiles down at him despite the fact that tone breaks his heart.] You big dummy. You're allowed to feel bad when things don't work out.

[He sighs softly.] I just want you to understand that you didn't have any say in their choices. Neither of us did.

[He realizes belatedly Peggy wasn't being hard on herself when she stated they mucked things up. She might not know about HYDRA, but moments like that and Zola living as long as he did must haunt her.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he shuts his eyes at the contact, nodding a little belatedly. he knows it's not his fault, logically. he knows he had no control over it but that's the source of his anxiety. and later on howard only ever spoke about steve. it was like both of them erased each other from their personal narrative. ]

You can't blame yourself either. It was out of both of our hands.

[valuedstrength]

[He sighs tiredly now. Steve probably does need to sleep, but since he knows what will greet him will be terrible, he's in no rush.] I know that. I'm not a complete idiot. It's hard to completely convince myself of it still.

[He laughs soft and brief.] I always want to fix things.

[letmetakeaselfie]

I know, dude. Me too.

[ he's the fix-it guy after all. but he knows steve has his own brand of that. it's part of why they clash and why they get along. ]

Think you can get to sleep if we put the couch back together? [ tony's considering the merits of just never moving again at this moment, but he knows steve probably isn't all that comfortable. ]

[valuedstrength]

[He shakes his head.] I'll sleep on the floor. This couch is too small for me.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he wants to protest, but somehow he doesn't think bruce and steve will agree to bunk in together so he sighs. he'll talk to pepper about it if they have to stay much longer. ]

I'll go grab you some stuff from the other room.

...In a minute.

[valuedstrength]

[Not a chance. He might have instantly liked him while maintaining a healthy amount of caution when they were all stuck in an enclosed space together at the start (for good reason as they all saw later), but he's not going to invade his space. Bruce likely wouldn't want him to anyways. He nods.]

Take your time. I'm not going anywhere. [He does have someone laying on him.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

No, I guess you're not. [ he rolls so his ear is on steve's leg, looking out at the mess they made. yeah there is not a world in which he wants to clean this up. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve follows his gaze with a small frown.] You know you're cleaning that up, right?

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he groans in a totally juvenile way. ] I'm working up to it.

[valuedstrength]

I'm sure you are. Just remember Pepper won't yell at the guy who got stabbed today. [He smiles charmingly. He's just picking on him. Stay here and keep him company :<]

[letmetakeaselfie]

Wow. That's cold. [ but also true. ] Do I really have to move?

[ tony flops over and looks up at steve like a really pathetic carp. ] The guy who got bruised should get some leeway too.

[valuedstrength]

Do you want to compare bruises right now? [He raises a brow. He will do this without a hint of shame because if he turns it into a joke then no one can be sad about it, right?] But, no you don't have to.

[letmetakeaselfie]

You heal way faster, so if you take that into account we basically got hurt the same amount. How's that for a comparison? [ but it's weak and he's not really trying, and since steve told him he could stay he's hunkering back in, arms crossing against his chest and eyes closing. ]