❄ but the most special are the most lonely ❄

[letmetakeaselfie]

I. ( tony + steve + bruce )

[ tony's face-plate comes up, all but dragging steve over the threshold. he just has to focus on keeping the super soldier awake so they can get to bruce and get patched up. and then everything will be fine - it'll all be fine. nevermind that cap's best friend is now a psycho killer and is totally on the loose and natasha blew up s.h.i.e.l.d. via the interwebs and put a huge target on all of their heads.

at least he's not panicking.

he has no actual way of knowing how injured he personally is under the suit, either. he's in so much shock and so jacked up on adrenaline that anything is possible. he just hopes it isn't beyond the doctor's scope. JARVIS puts in the passcode wirelessly so tony can carry steve through the door, princess-style. ]

Medic? We need a medic... [ the joke dies on his lips, meeting bruce's gaze across the room. god is he a sight for sore eyes. ]

II. ( tony + steve + bruce + pepper )

[ once tony and steve are cleaned up and back in their street clothes, they may as well get ready for the q&a that's coming. there are a lot of things he's still not willing to discuss - peggy and her husband; his father; bucky... but neither of them are going to get a choice. he loves pepper and bruce with all (both) his heart(s) but this is some heavy shit, so instead he just blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

it's also the dumbest. ] Widow will be happy you finally got yourself a date, huh, Cap? [ he nudges the other man's shoulder and looks to everyone else, sorry. that's the best he's got. ]

III. ( tony + steve )

[ tony wanders out to the living room, finding steve out on the couch where he'd left him. he knows just by the unsteady rise and fall of his chest that he's not sleeping. how could either of them after that? without saying a word, he slots his slighter frame in next to him, carefully avoiding both of their injuries and pulling out his phone. ]

I wasn't kidding about that like page, you know. [ he shows cap the facebook fan page that allegedly phil set up. it has a much more flattering image than the twitter. also 14 million something likes. ] You have almost as many fans as me.

[ he's not even being cheeky (much), he has over 19 million. ]

IV. ( tony + pepper )

[ pepper's not up yet and tony hasn't slept yet, which really, if it weren't so commonplace by now might be more traumatic. as it is, he eyes her heels at the base of the bed; she had fallen asleep in her clothes. poor pepper, he'd probably exhausted her and worried her sick with all of this. again, par for their course, but still.

before he can talk himself out of it, he sits on a corner of the bed and goes about trying to get his feet into her shoes. she would totally kill him if she woke up right now, but as they'd established that day they went to the park, it was really hard being short. ] What does she have, elf feet...?

[ he asks the open air, wobbling to his feet and immediately falling to the ground. this wasn't his best laid plan by far. he's just going to lay here for a while. this carpet is soft and his entire body is a bruise. ]

Comments

[valuedstrength]

She lets me call her my best girl when we're together, but I'm not sure how much she's humoring since we weren't actually allowed to say that back in the day.

[He looks kind of embarrassed. Shut up, Tony.] I find it soothing when I can scream at you. [He offers so helpfully.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ his head tips back to get a glimpse of cap's expression. nope, still adorable. ] I really doubt she's humoring you at all. She doesn't really seem the humoring type to me.

[ it's why he likes her tbh. ] ...Then it's settled.

[ tony manages to get the remote off the table without shifting out of steve's lap, he wants to see if they're on the news. but no -- it's the mandarin again. fuck this guy. ]

You see this clown?

[valuedstrength]

[Steve has to smile at that. Yes, they're at the end of the story. Steve and Peggy both know it, but he's still stupidly in love with her all the same. It doesn't matter that she married someone else and had children and grandchildren. (It certainly helps her husband died years ago even if Steve mourns his chance to see this mysterious person who is probably Gabe Jones.)]

Yeah. I am going to take a shot in the dark and assume he's next on our docket of problems. [Steve sighs softly.] I'll have to see if Natasha or Hill can dig something up. HYDRA always did like to make tacky friends they could kill later.

[Assuming he isn't already allied with them in some way already. These guys tended to hang out together. It's always fun to see which will betray the other first.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

You think? Maybe... [ either way, he's sure cap is right. ] Once I'm communicado again, I'll probably have about 50 missed calls from Jimmy.

[ and suddenly he's not in such a rush to get out of here. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve frowns as he tries to remember who that is. (Spoilers: he refers to Rhodey by his full name and rank in his head whenever he does come up.) The light bulb moment springs up soon enough and he nods.] I'm sure he's got a handle on this until we get in a little recovery time.

[Steve looks him over.] You especially. [You don't have a body working 110% on your recovery. As long as he keeps his calorie intake up, he'll be fine sooner rather than later. (He'll remember Rhodey will have the sense to just be worried given the state of the Tower in a minute.)]

[letmetakeaselfie]

Me especially. [ tony rolls his eyes. ] You're the one who got stabbed a dozen times. And shot. Did you get shot? I'm pretty sure you got grazed, at least.

[ looking up at him in disbelief even as trevor drones on in the background. all that and here steve is pillow fighting with him. he's never been more grateful for that super serum crap. ]

I'm fine. I could totally be ready to go in the morning -- this is for your benefit. [ this time he is joking for real because no, he actually needs to sleep under giant ice packs for a week to be relatively okay again. ]

[valuedstrength]

I'm not sure. [He isn't even kidding. Steve kind of blacked out for a couple of minutes. You know as one does when drugs don't really work on them and they're getting stitched up. You know he wasn't paying attention when the gun went off to begin with.... all twenty times.]

But, it's not a big deal. This is only a little worse than New York. [From his pov anyways. He sure didn't get stabbed there, but not from lack of trying.] I'm more concerned about you. You're an old man.

[He smiles. See what he did there?? He's so funny. :)]

[letmetakeaselfie]

Oh, so now I'm old man. Cause a second ago I was a rude youngster. [ the most offended face!!! tony looks back up and clasps his hands over his stomach. ]

Way better than New York on my end. No space.

[valuedstrength]

No, definitely no space. For the record, we're sending Thor on all space related missions from now on.

[If they say it now, it can be enforced later!! Plus he and Thor are warrior bros. He totally will go along with this.] You called yourself an old man first. Also for the record.

[letmetakeaselfie]

I'm good with that. He is the resident space man so it's only fair.


Also, for the record, you can't just conveniently flip-flop between treating me like a kid and some geriatric-- [ oh. oh he's starting to actually get angry, isn't he? goddamnit steve ]

[valuedstrength]

You're really getting worked up about this. Maybe you ought to lie down? [He shakes his head and pats Tony's shoulder. Okay, he's done being a jerk.]

I'll let you pick which one you want to be then. Is that fair?

[letmetakeaselfie]

You're a real asshole. [ but he doesn't say anything for a long moment, his hand coming up to cover steve's on his shoulder. ]

Getting old isn't all bad, you know. Pepper even digs the gray.

[valuedstrength]

[He softens a little.] I don't mean anything by it. I'm a little jealous if anything. I think it'd be nice to actually look your own age.

[It weirds him out to look and act like a twenty something when everyone treats him like an old man.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

You don't really want to look 90, do you? [ he keeps his hand on steve's as he cranes his neck to look at his face. it hurts to know that no matter how hard he tries he'll leave steve alone one day. just like peggy will. and pepper-- and all of them. he shouldn't have to go through all this. it isn't fair. but without the serum he'd be dead a million times over and that's not right either. he'll solve this -- he always does. ]

How's this, I'll be the old one from now on. Or maybe we can trade off.

[valuedstrength]

[He'd like to really live to ninety. Not just sleep through it. Steve starts to shrug with his bad shoulder by mistake, winces, and stops. He cocks his head to the side playfully with a glued on smile.]

Nah, it'd really kill the romance if Peggy never knew who I was. [A beat.] We'll trade off. I can't pretend to be young when I make a bunch of references no one else gets.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he lets go to reach up and poke steve's arm lightly. ] See, you are hurt. Old man.

[ they can trade-off. okay. he can live with that. ]

[valuedstrength]

[He frowns. Stop pointing out that he's all stabbed up on one side.] Yeah, yeah. Way to rub it in, kiddo.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ kiddo. even though he agreed to it he still slumps, looking away again. he remembers how it had felt to see steve with those kids in the park. that could've been him. would have been. ]

Peggy told me-- about the night she decided not to talk to Dad again. [ dad, not howard. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve looks down at him in alarm. He wants to ask so badly. It isn't his business. He can't intrude on ancient history especially since his voiding his right to be part of all this was made to be pointless in the end.]

... I'm glad she told you. [Because he must have needed the closure after finding out how close they all were once.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

It doesn't exactly surprise me that he was beligerent, you know. He was that a lot. [ but tony had still loved him, as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise. ]

But... But she met me that night. [ his eyes flick up to steve and here's where he just can't understand. he loves peggy because steve does, but he can't help but feel completely abandoned anyway. ] Baby me. I must have been adorable.

[ but it still wasn't enough. he wasn't. ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve blinks down at him. For a second, he can't breathe. She was there with him and she still let Howard get to her? He can catch the meaning behind what he's saying clearly. Again he feels a twinge of jealousy and disappointment at the way things had played out even still knowing so little about it.]

Howard always said the wrong thing. Machines always came easier to him than people. Peggy, well, there was a reason she wasn't the automatic pick for the serum despite being way more qualified than me to handle it. When she got angry.... [He shakes his head.] It's not you. You know that, right? They were always stubborn and hot-headed.

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ a permanent frown seems to have moulded itself to his face, it's hard for him to look at cap so he doesn't really try. he knows his dad was irrational and let his anger get the better of him. so of course peggy would be the same, if they were so tight. it made sense probably, like when he and rhodey broke his house... a few times. ]

I always make everything about me, right? [ the words come out almost hoarse, frown melting into something much more pathetic ]

[valuedstrength]

[Steve runs his hand up and down Tony's arm. He smiles down at him despite the fact that tone breaks his heart.] You big dummy. You're allowed to feel bad when things don't work out.

[He sighs softly.] I just want you to understand that you didn't have any say in their choices. Neither of us did.

[He realizes belatedly Peggy wasn't being hard on herself when she stated they mucked things up. She might not know about HYDRA, but moments like that and Zola living as long as he did must haunt her.]

[letmetakeaselfie]

[ he shuts his eyes at the contact, nodding a little belatedly. he knows it's not his fault, logically. he knows he had no control over it but that's the source of his anxiety. and later on howard only ever spoke about steve. it was like both of them erased each other from their personal narrative. ]

You can't blame yourself either. It was out of both of our hands.

[valuedstrength]

[He sighs tiredly now. Steve probably does need to sleep, but since he knows what will greet him will be terrible, he's in no rush.] I know that. I'm not a complete idiot. It's hard to completely convince myself of it still.

[He laughs soft and brief.] I always want to fix things.