I love you so much I'm gonna let you kill me ●

[relicta]

She can't keep the smirk off her face as Steve gets into the passenger's seat, like so many times before. Except this isn't like any times before, because this a real undercover mission. One she isn't completely sure he's ready for, or more to the point one he isn't sure he's ready for so she'll have to do a lot of validating him. Which isn't exactly her strong suit, as they'd found over the course of working together and admittedly growing much closer than she ever could have anticipated.

"I'm surprised Stark is letting you go for a whole month." But she sure isn't disappointed. Out of all the people she could be (and had been) fake married to? This might not be such a challenge to sell. Not that she's reading into that any, why bother.

Comments

[valuedstrength]

Steve is nervous about this. It's not much of a surprise. He doesn't think he's the guy for a job. This is also the first time he'll be away from Tony for longer than a handful of days since he moved in. It's scary to tear himself from the other man's side. He's starting to suspect Natasha may be right. They've become ridiculously codependent.

That doesn't mean he'll ever admit it. Steve frowns in her direction as he tosses his bag behind him. "You act like he has me locked up in there. I can leave whenever I want."

[relicta]

"Said like a true stockholm." Her smile is sweet as she peels out of the garage. They have at least a few hours drive ahead to their little house in the suburbs. She was going to tell him what to pack until she remembered he only owned like khakis and checkered shirts. He'll fit right in.

"You didn't tell him you were leaving, did you? How long do you think it will take him to climb out of Pepper's eyes and realize you're gone?" She's not about to stop teasing him any time soon, hope you had the time to put on your seatbelt.

[valuedstrength]

Steve doesn't waste any time putting on his seat belt. He's been in a car with Natasha too many times to trust her not to drive like a psychopath.

He sighs in exasperation. "Of course I told him I was leaving. Do you want him to hunt me down when I don't check in and compromise the mission?" That doesn't make it sound any better, but it is the truth. Steve would do the same if their roles were reversed.

[relicta]

"I was kidding, Steve." Chill it, son. She shakes her head, biting the inside of her lip against an entirely inappropriate grin. "Did you study the packet I gave you?" A bit more sober now, but still with an undercurrent of bemusement. Undercover was mostly about instinct, but it would help to actually remember his new name and shit like that.

[valuedstrength]

Never!! He doesn't know if he'll survive this. Steve nods seriously and glances out the window. "I memorized all the important parts." That was easy. It's putting it into practice that will be difficult. "I'll play the idiot husband card if I make a mistake."

[relicta]

She leans over and puts her hand on his thigh without taking her eyes off the road. "Don't listen that carefully next time. A good husband would tune me out." Steve, you're adorable.

welcome to my reward for the night

[valuedstrength]

Steve swallows a little at the gesture. He's determined to not make a big deal about it given the fact they are regularly have dancing sessions out of Dirty Dancing. "That doesn't sound like something a good husband would do." Steve complains. Like he knows what a good husband looks like. The only man in his life, Mr. Barnes, barely spoke two words to anyone.

;;

[relicta]

Leaving her hand on his knee, all she can do is shake her head. "Just keep it up, loverboy. You've got this in the bag."

[valuedstrength]

Steve throws a put upon look her way. "Thanks. Maybe we'll prove your mother wrong and make it to our fifth anniversary."

[relicta]

She snorts, her hand going back to the shift. That's more like it. "Five might be a little generous. Let's make it to three first."

[valuedstrength]

"Three? Baby I said forever." He has to laugh at the reply. That has to be one of the dumbest things he's ever said before. This assignment is going great.

[relicta]

She bursts into laughter right over his, looking over at him while she laughs before (thankfully) looking back at the road. "I'm not sure if I can put up with you forever."

[valuedstrength]

"I bake." He retorts playfully as his laughter starts to calm down. "What are you bringing to our eternal love, darling?"

[relicta]

"I don't want to make you blush, Captain." Yes she does, that's why she said it.

[valuedstrength]

He falls for it right on cue. Steve glances away uncomfortably. "And yet you said that."

[relicta]

"Hey, you asked. It's the least I could do... You always have a hot meal waiting for me when I get home from the daily grind." Wow, she is making this worse, huh? She offers him a sweet smile. This is going to be a long drive for you, Steve, sorry not sorry.

[valuedstrength]

"The least you can do, huh?" Steve looks over her way. He's rather stupidly thinking he can call her bluff on this one. "What exactly would this least involve?"

[relicta]

Oh god. He's calling her bluff. She actually feels... a little bad for him??? This isn't going to end well for you, Steve-o. Should she give him an out? Natasha worries her lip, taking a longer pause than usual to mull over just how mean to be.

"Well, first... we'd eat the wonderful spread you made us," she begins, voice smooth and almost sultry. She doesn't look over. "And when it was time for dessert... I'd get down on my hands and knees and crawl to where you would still be sitting, sated and happy. And then I'd polish your... shoes." She does attempt to catch his eyes briefly here before sliding back to the road, one side of her mouth hitching up. Satisfied as ever to make a fossil blush. "How else would I show you my undying gratitude, oh light of my life?"

[valuedstrength]

The imagery is too much. He blushes and makes a point of looking anywhere, but Natasha right now. "Flowers, my love. I just want some old-fashioned romance." He couldn't sound more bitter if he tried. He hates her.

[relicta]

Her lips twitch in a telltale way, but she holds in the snickers (somehow). Mostly because her teasing isn't actually malicious. Most newlyweds are seriously gross, they have to pull off at least one layer of that if they hope to convince anyone. "You know I hate having flowers in the house, dearheart. They make me sneeze."

[valuedstrength]

"I would hate for you to be unhappy, sweetheart." Steve replies dryly. "I'm sure you feel the same way."

[relicta]

She shrugs. "As long as you pretend to be happy I'm cool with it." Only the tiniest hint of a smile gives her away.

[valuedstrength]

"I don't think I have to do much pretending considering who I am gonna wake up next to." He replies a little too honestly for his own good. Steve wets his lips as he realizes uncomfortably that he should have kept the joke going.

[relicta]

Her heart stutters in her chest. He wasn't joking, she knows when he's joking. Nat glances over at him sharply, but then swivels her head right back to the road. No need to crash her car over this, it's a really nice car.

"I made sure we got a king so you wouldn't be scrunched." Though she has this feeling like he curls up when he sleeps -- not that she thinks about things like that. But he still acted like he was small in so many other ways, she just idly thinks that. For no reason. It's an observation.

[valuedstrength]

"I don't take up much space," Steve replies honestly. When he can sleep, he curls up like he's fighting to keep every bit of warmth he can in his body. Time hasn't changed that. "Do we really need to sleep together?" It might sound weird considering how often he lets Tony into his bed, but there you go.