I love you so much I'm gonna let you kill me ●

[relicta]

She can't keep the smirk off her face as Steve gets into the passenger's seat, like so many times before. Except this isn't like any times before, because this a real undercover mission. One she isn't completely sure he's ready for, or more to the point one he isn't sure he's ready for so she'll have to do a lot of validating him. Which isn't exactly her strong suit, as they'd found over the course of working together and admittedly growing much closer than she ever could have anticipated.

"I'm surprised Stark is letting you go for a whole month." But she sure isn't disappointed. Out of all the people she could be (and had been) fake married to? This might not be such a challenge to sell. Not that she's reading into that any, why bother.

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[relicta]

Leaving her hand on his knee, all she can do is shake her head. "Just keep it up, loverboy. You've got this in the bag."

[valuedstrength]

Steve throws a put upon look her way. "Thanks. Maybe we'll prove your mother wrong and make it to our fifth anniversary."

[relicta]

She snorts, her hand going back to the shift. That's more like it. "Five might be a little generous. Let's make it to three first."

[valuedstrength]

"Three? Baby I said forever." He has to laugh at the reply. That has to be one of the dumbest things he's ever said before. This assignment is going great.

[relicta]

She bursts into laughter right over his, looking over at him while she laughs before (thankfully) looking back at the road. "I'm not sure if I can put up with you forever."

[valuedstrength]

"I bake." He retorts playfully as his laughter starts to calm down. "What are you bringing to our eternal love, darling?"

[relicta]

"I don't want to make you blush, Captain." Yes she does, that's why she said it.

[valuedstrength]

He falls for it right on cue. Steve glances away uncomfortably. "And yet you said that."

[relicta]

"Hey, you asked. It's the least I could do... You always have a hot meal waiting for me when I get home from the daily grind." Wow, she is making this worse, huh? She offers him a sweet smile. This is going to be a long drive for you, Steve, sorry not sorry.

[valuedstrength]

"The least you can do, huh?" Steve looks over her way. He's rather stupidly thinking he can call her bluff on this one. "What exactly would this least involve?"

[relicta]

Oh god. He's calling her bluff. She actually feels... a little bad for him??? This isn't going to end well for you, Steve-o. Should she give him an out? Natasha worries her lip, taking a longer pause than usual to mull over just how mean to be.

"Well, first... we'd eat the wonderful spread you made us," she begins, voice smooth and almost sultry. She doesn't look over. "And when it was time for dessert... I'd get down on my hands and knees and crawl to where you would still be sitting, sated and happy. And then I'd polish your... shoes." She does attempt to catch his eyes briefly here before sliding back to the road, one side of her mouth hitching up. Satisfied as ever to make a fossil blush. "How else would I show you my undying gratitude, oh light of my life?"

[valuedstrength]

The imagery is too much. He blushes and makes a point of looking anywhere, but Natasha right now. "Flowers, my love. I just want some old-fashioned romance." He couldn't sound more bitter if he tried. He hates her.

[relicta]

Her lips twitch in a telltale way, but she holds in the snickers (somehow). Mostly because her teasing isn't actually malicious. Most newlyweds are seriously gross, they have to pull off at least one layer of that if they hope to convince anyone. "You know I hate having flowers in the house, dearheart. They make me sneeze."

[valuedstrength]

"I would hate for you to be unhappy, sweetheart." Steve replies dryly. "I'm sure you feel the same way."

[relicta]

She shrugs. "As long as you pretend to be happy I'm cool with it." Only the tiniest hint of a smile gives her away.

[valuedstrength]

"I don't think I have to do much pretending considering who I am gonna wake up next to." He replies a little too honestly for his own good. Steve wets his lips as he realizes uncomfortably that he should have kept the joke going.

[relicta]

Her heart stutters in her chest. He wasn't joking, she knows when he's joking. Nat glances over at him sharply, but then swivels her head right back to the road. No need to crash her car over this, it's a really nice car.

"I made sure we got a king so you wouldn't be scrunched." Though she has this feeling like he curls up when he sleeps -- not that she thinks about things like that. But he still acted like he was small in so many other ways, she just idly thinks that. For no reason. It's an observation.

[valuedstrength]

"I don't take up much space," Steve replies honestly. When he can sleep, he curls up like he's fighting to keep every bit of warmth he can in his body. Time hasn't changed that. "Do we really need to sleep together?" It might sound weird considering how often he lets Tony into his bed, but there you go.

[relicta]

"I do," she volleys back immediately. Which is true she fans herself out like a cat trying to take up the entire bed okay. One eyebrow lifts, but she doesn't show anything else on her face. Because there's nothing else to show. She's not disappointed or anything crazy like that!! "A second ago you couldn't wait to climb in bed with me. The short answer is yes, unless I send you to the couch."

[valuedstrength]

"That was before I knew you were going to hog the whole thing to yourself." Steve quips back regardless of how much sense it actually makes. "You're not going to kick me in the face tonight, are you?"

[relicta]

"...Not intentionally." A beat. "Unless you deserve it." That's a no across the board Steve, she doesn't do night terrors.

[valuedstrength]

"Fair enough." Steve concedes with a laugh. He sobers up to give her a necessary truth. "I have trouble sleeping alone. Tony usually helps with that. I'm not sure how it will be sleeping in a place without him." Even if Tony sleeps with Pepper, it's not like all traces of him are gone. That's usually enough to compensate. But, now? Well he'll let her get the co-dependent jokes out of the way now.

[relicta]

He needs to stop bringing this down. Especially when it makes her feel... bad for making fun of him in the past. "...Can I help?" she asks after a long pause, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible even while her knuckles turn white on the wheel.

[valuedstrength]

"Contact helps. Reminds me where I am." Which sounds more serious than it needs to be. He tacks on quickly, "It wouldn't have to be anything intimate. You could probably just hold my hand or something." He forces a smile. "Should have mentioned this before I accepted, huh? I didn't mean to put this on you."

[relicta]

"Shut up," she urges, unable to take any more well-meant sincerity. Natasha offers him up a quirk of a smile that's gone as quick as it had come. "But it could be? Intimate?" So sue her, she likes it when he blushes.