ϟ you're my guiding lightning strike ϟ

[laggard]

❝Love hurts but sometimes it's a good hurt; that makes me feel like I'm alive.❞

Sam waited up for him, though he didn't know if tonight would be the night. He knows he's needed at the Tower, by his family, and that isn't a question. He can't hog all of Steve's attention all of the time, as much as he wishes there was a way he could sometimes. But he has the VA and his runs... which only feel infinitely lonely and full of inurgency without Steve there to berate him into giving his all. Everything has a desolate edge to it, even his morning coffee -- the pancakes he's making now at too-late/too-early o-clock with the flour he'd sent Steve to the store for last week.

He sprinkles blueberries in the batter and sighs, trying to have hope. He doesn't think of himself as a mopey, needy sort of guy, but when it comes to Steve... It's hard to be away. Harder than he'd ever thought.

It's five a.m. and there's a knock at the door. Sam frowns, looking down at himself. As much as he'd wanted Steve to come home today he wasn't anywhere near ready. He doesn't actually think it's Steve. He thinks it's work or some bullshit secret project. He doesn't want either, not now, not when he'd wanted to wallow in how much he misses his boyfriend in like a metric ton of pancakes.

What? It's totally healthy.

Plating up the cakes on the griddle so they don't burn while he sees to whatever it is he's sure he doesn't want to deal with, Sam goes to the door and flings it open -- wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that's unmistakably Steve's, looking more tired than he has in a long time. When he sees that it isn't the VA or any sort of drama he has to see to with his wings, he smiles softly, cocking his hip against the doorway to effectively block Steve's entry, at least for the moment, arms coming up to cross over his chest.

"Well, hey there, stranger." Something in his chest dislodges and breaks free at just the sight of the other man, standing on his doorstep like he had so many months ago, a stray dog looking for pets. It's so endearing he almost pulls Steve into his arms right then, but he refrains. Again, just for a second. He has to get his licks in somehow.

Comments

[valuedstrength]

"That depends." He drags out the silence a moment as he sets the plates into the drying rack. "Does the eye candy still get pancakes for breakfast?"

[laggard]

For some reason, it feels like a different question than what it is, and Sam feels inclined to take his time answering it. To many, Steve would seem a simple, straight forward sort of man, but he knew better. While he wasn't one to outright lie or deceive he would say things as stand-ins for other things, requiring one to be an accredited reader between the lines. Sam liked to think he did okay with that, most days.

"The eye candy gets whatever he wants -- so long as he sticks around to be objectified." Sam's eyebrows lift, but he has his own way of getting around subjects that Steve must be familiar with by now. Making breakfast -- or really doing anything -- for Steve made him feel useful; like he was taking care of the other man's needs. And what's the downside of pancakes, really?

[valuedstrength]

That's probably why the work so well. Sam is one of the few who can catch the real meaning behind his words. When he asked Sam if he was doing okay back the world, well he meant it, but what he really wanted to know is if he would ever be okay too. When he asks if the eye candy can get pancakes, he's asking that, but also if Sam will continue to treat him this way no matter how long they're together.

He's satisfied with the answer. He knows Sam is taking care of him in every way he knows how. Steve wraps up the cleaning and starts to dry his hands. "I can live with that." He steps away from the sink once he finishes, towards Sam with a knowing smile. "So nap time?"

[laggard]

The look he gives Steve then is unbelievably soft. He stands silently and reaches out his hand for Steve's. He should probably wash his hands too even if he's nowhere near as messy an eater. His headshake is fond, a part of him still having trouble believing Steve is really here. "Nap time," Sam confirms, leaning in to brush his lips over his, squeezing their hands as he tells himself to simply enjoy the moment. It doesn't matter how long it lasts, how long Steve is here. He has him right now and that's the only thing he should be focusing on.

[valuedstrength]

It melts Steve completely. Not for the first time he is grateful this moment will never really leave him. He'll be able to recall it tomorrow or even a decade from now with perfect clarity. For once his mind doesn't go to the dark conclusion that he'll need it because nothing good ever last. This is one beautiful moment in a series of many to come.

He leans for a quick peck before dragging Sam along to the bedroom. He was promised a nap. He damn well will have one when he has a partner who is an A+ cuddler.

[laggard]

A sly grin comes over his features as he closes the door behind them, spinning to hook his fingers in the hem of Steve's shirt. "Did I mention I missed you?" he asks, voice deliberately soft as he speaks low and close, tugging the item up with care.

[valuedstrength]

Steve lifts his arms obligingly. He smiles soft, sweet, and just a little bit mischievous at the other man. "You know I think you left that part out. Maybe you ought to say it again." He'll say it too a hundred times over. Really did Sam ever doubt his affections? Steve feels like he's the one always fighting off his pathetic sense of self-worth. Sam has no reason to feel that way from Steve's perspective.

[laggard]

It's not that he's insecure -- himself or in them -- he isn't; but he's still human. A little validation never goes amiss, and Steve's response is more than enough. Sam bites gently into his lip as the garment is tugged up and off, revealing firm, smooth skin for him to explore. Possess, more like, since he's already more than familiar with the planes of Steve's flesh. His fingers sink in with a sense of reverence, long eyelashes fluttering as he glances back up at Steve, returning his smile easily.

"I missed you, you fool," he chastises, placing a dry kiss in the center of Steve's chest, fingers running gently down his sides. "Again?" Because he wasn't kidding, he'd say it as many times as Steve wanted to hear it.