Throw a coin in a fountain of dust

[letmetakeaselfie]

It isn't that he doesn't trust Natasha, it really isn't. Even the whole Natalie Rushman thing couldn't deter him from thinking of her basically as a little sister. Tony being who he is, he's been worried about her. Bruce leaving hasn't been easy on any of them, maybe most of all him, but they had something going on he still doesn't totally understand. And now she's MIA, which isn't that unusual actually, but again; Tony being Tony he can't just accept that. Clint and Laura don't want to talk to him except to say to leave Nat alone, but what if she's getting herself in danger? He can't judge her state of mind if he can't talk to her. That's where the stalking comes in.

J.A.R.V.I.S. probably wouldn't have helped him hack her phone, but F.R.I.D.A.Y. doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Maybe he's just imagining that -- but maybe they really do have their own artifical intelligence brand moral compasses. Now that JARVIS has merged with Vision, though, he thinks he has to be right. He used to relish in being right, now not so much.

There's one address that keeps coming through her GPS. He doesn't recognize it, and it's not that far. She isn't there now, according to her phone anyway, but there has to be something important there if she keeps going. He's no spy by trade, but that seems logical. Anyway, that's how he ends up in the middle of bumfuck (Binghamton) looking down at a ramshackle shack in the woods. It's like a horror movie except like usually with his life, it's real. So that's fun.

It's just about dusk and he drops down some distance away so he hopefully won't be detected. He puts the suit in sentry mode and creeps through the clearing like a cartoon character. His subtlety has never been very subtle, alright, but he tries. His curiousity is running rampant at this point, and he pops his head up to try and get a glimpse through the window. The curtains are drawn and there's barely a sliver of light from the waning sun that bounces off, creating a glare. Tony nearly jumps out of his skin when a large shadow moves across the window. There's someone in there. A big someone, by the sound of him. He and the suit move as quickly and softly as possible to the other side of the house in hopes that he can still get a good look at him somehow, or at least figure out what this place is.

Comments

[inthecold]

Steve is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He has to given the fact that he knows not all of HYDRA will be taken in or killed. One of them will eventually come. The other possibility, the one lurking outside his makeshift home, he assumes will come for revenge. That will be no less ugly though more acceptable than the first. At least then no one else will be hurt.

However when he hears something lurking outside his home, his first thought is it's someone lost. It wouldn't be the first time some hiker or dumb teen wandered his way and needed to be steered back towards the city. It's that possibility that leads him to head out the front door to find whoever it is that's out here.

It's not an act of blind trust by any means. He's got a dozen or so weapons scattered in the surrounding trees. Steve knows where to take cover should bullets or tranquilizer darts go flying. There's a vehicle hidden a mile away to aid his escape too and so on. While the sound of the suit is odd, he also has no way of knowing the source. He didn't Google Iron Man for obvious reasons. Steve can't know what he's gotten himself into until it's too late to turn back.

He steps out the door, moving in the direction of the movement without skipping a beat. Once he sees Tony, his heart stops. Everything seems to slow down as he accepts for the hundredth time that he won't see Natasha again. He's going to die in some violent and cruel way. He tells himself that's okay once more. He deserves that and so much more from this man who he failed on every conceivable level; the one who looks so much like his father that it physically hurts Steve.

Blue eyes harden as stares at him with all the dignity he can muster. In some ways he's still a kid from Brooklyn. He can't shrink away from a fight he intends to lose. "You're not lost. Are you?"

[letmetakeaselfie]

Tony freezes like a deer in headlights when he's spotted, fight or flight kicking into high gear before he even tries to identify if he's seen this man before. The suit edges a little closer, preparing to spring into action if necessary. For some reason, it takes even longer for the man's words to filter through. Lost? He screws up his face, confused and dying to know the real reason for all this weird secrecy.

"Not in the way you mean," he admits, especially since he knows the exact coordinates of this cabin, if it could even be called that. Tony takes a stilted step forward to study the hulk of a man and what he sees when he finally allows himself to see it -- takes his breath away. "...You're him." Captain America. He's alive and secreted away in this place presumably only Natasha knows about. That in itself is freaking weird, but fear is already twisting up his gut. There's something surreal and just overall not right about this whole thing. It feels like the air is standing still, every hair raising on the back of his neck.

Reacting to his fear drive more than likely, the Mark 43 closes around his body while he still stands there in the clearing, stock still. His face plate stays up so he can go on staring, almost like he's afraid if he blinks Steve will just disappear.

[inthecold]

He watches that suit like a hawk. Old habits die hard. He still prepares for the attack even knowing he'll take it without ever trying to defend himself. It doesn't take Steve long to realize that all his fear are baseless. Stark never came here to find him.

His jaw sets proudly. He has to point this out despite knowing the answer. There's only one other person who belongs in this little living space. "You didn't come here for me."

[letmetakeaselfie]

"Well... no. But don't take it personally," he rambles, still not entirely convinced he isn't hallucinating. "i didn't know what I would find here, if anything." No one ever knows with Natasha, right? He can tell the other man is on the defensive and decides, characteristically, to take a risk. Stepping out of the suit again, he motions for it to standby and starts forward towards Steve, getting an even better opportunity to study the other man's features. He looks different from the pictures his father had shown him, and yet immediately recognizable even with the beard; and even with how tired he seems. Tony isn't sure what the right question is to ask, if there is one, so he wings it, also unshockingly.

"Are you gonna invite me in, or...?"

[inthecold]

Every muscle is tense in his body as Tony approaches. For once in his life, Steve wants to run as far away as he can. Nothing prepared him for the spitting image of Howard acting so uncertain around him. No, he expected this man to come in with a purpose. He's not sure what to do with a person who isn't hell bent on making him suffer.

Does he run? Does he let him in? Does he say no and see how he reacts? It doesn't feel right to let Tony into their place. At the same time, can he really keep him out? He owes this man something.

"You came here for Natalia." It's an observation meant to kill time. He's not used to being caught off guard anymore. He needs time to think. "She isn't here."

[letmetakeaselfie]

Natalia. He mouths the word, but doesn't challenge it. Steve is clearly going through something right now, and Tony can't exactly say he blames him. Of all the things he expected to find here, this wasn't even in the running. It makes him sad, even angry... but mostly right now, it just makes him curious. He's always had a compulsion to know more, to find out everything he can get his hands on. Now is no different.

"Do you know where she is?" he asks, like he's asking for the time. Even if Steve knows, he doesn't expect the man to tell him. but he still has to try.

[inthecold]

"I couldn't say." He says it so carefully that he knows the underlying message must be clear. Even if she told him, Steve would never share that information with anyone who wasn't the famous Clint Barton.

A handful of seconds pass in silence before he finally comes to a decision. Steve turns his back on Tony and walks back towards the building. "You can come inside. It can't." He honestly isn't sure if he wants Tony to accept his conditions or not. Either way, this is the deal or else he runs, he supposes.

[letmetakeaselfie]

It's the answer he expected, so it doesn't rankle him too much. He did have to try, for his own sanity. Without hesitation, though maybe he should considering all that's just happened, he begins to follow Steve inside. The suit tries to follow him like a disobedient dog, but Tony hears the crunch of leaves and spins on his heals to tell FRIDAY yet again to stay put. Satisfied that it will stay this time, he resumes his walk alongside Steve, unable to keep himself from thinking about how giant he is. Sure Bucky is big, but there's something so imposing about this man, especially knowing his humble beginnings. He can't help but put himself in his father's shoes in this moment too, most of the pictures he'd seen having had Howard or at least Aunt Peggy in them. It's like a black and white photo come to life, maybe only slightly Hitchcock inspired.

"How long..." Walking into the tiny dwelling cuts off his question pretty instantly. It's smaller on the inside, somehow, and it's really just kind of depressing. He can't really relate to living this way for any length of time, and maybe it doesn't matter how long Nat has been hiding him, just that she has at all. That none of them trust each other, and maybe they never will. That's perhaps even sadder than whatever he's looking at right now.

[inthecold]

He never looks back at the thing. Somehow he trusts Tony to keep his word despite only knowing him through brief brushes in civilization that rarely painted him in a flattering light, HYDRA's kill list, and whatever Natasha tells him about the Avengers. He wonders if it wasn't something leftover from his time with Howard, this man would have been his family in another life, before he abruptly pushes away the thought. He shouldn't think about Howard anymore than necessary right now.

Steve leads him to what passes for a kitchen in this dwelling, pulling out one of the mismatched chairs for Tony to sit on while he moves to his stove and oven combo clearly meant for camping. It's one of the few comforts he has here; the only one he was willing to accept from Natasha. Learning how to eat like a human being and cook again had been a turning point in his recovery over the past few months. It's a reminder of how much he's changed from a malfunctioning weapon to a person as broken as he is.

It's why he gravitates towards it now. He finds security in doing this. It's almost like having a guest over. Almost. "I can make coffee."

[letmetakeaselfie]

Tony sits and wonders when the last time he did was. For some reason, Steve's statement seems like more than just its surface meaning. He probably doesn't get much human contact all the way out here, that's at least something he can relate to. And he never says no to coffee, literally ever.

"Then you should," he says with a brief lopsided flash of a smile. He looks perfectly at home in this rickety little shack though he can't help himself from looking around, trying to scope out every corner for a hint of humanity. Or maybe even something Natasha left behind, though he knows from experience trying to get her to live in the Tower that she isn't much for personal effects. Still, it's a particular talent of his to look like he fits anywhere, from a garage in Kentucky to the Taj Mahal. Like the world invited him to be wherever he is at that exact moment. It's definitely a trait he shares with his late father, whether or not he's aware of it now.

[inthecold]

How easily he fits in does make him think of Howard. It's as painful as it is comforting. Steve has always thought of this as his home with Natasha as odd as that may seem to anyone else. She may not stay here for longer than a day, but it's their day and more than enough for Steve. As he works on dumping coffee grounds, clean water from a bottle, and cinnamon sticks into a steel pot, he can't help looking back at him and feeling troubled. What does it say about Tony that he can be in the company of someone who had a hand in ruining his life and look like he fits in?

He follows Tony's gaze and realizes for once how little there is to see around this place. There's notebooks filled with doodles and writings of half-remembered events inside of a backpack for when he has to run. There's pens and pencils scattered on anything lifted a little off the ground. Otherwise, anyone can be living here.

Soon the pot is left to boil on the stovetop. Steve is left to reluctantly take a seat. He stares at the other man as he tries to think of what there is to say now. He doesn't know what Tony has been told or figured out on his own. He doesn't even know what he wants. That leaves Steve to indulge himself even if it hadn't been a conscious thought before this.

"You look a lot like him." He starts before his brow creases. No, that's not right. Steve amends, "When he was young. You look like the man he was when we first met properly on that plane. He was crazy enough to put himself into danger too without ever looking bothered by it."

[letmetakeaselfie]

Tony turns instantly towards Steve when he sits, wondering idly how the twig of a chair even holds him up. The words that come out of his mouth couldn't have been expected, and he briefly grimaces at the comparison. For some reason, the way he goes on helps. There are a few things he doesn't mind having in common with Howard, and that's actually one of them.

"The dumbest genius you've ever met, right?" That may or may not be a paraphrase from Peggy, but it's fitting. He narrows his eyes and straightens up a bit. Something about being near Steve makes him feel small. Not in comparison, but... young. Childlike. He supposes it isn't so terrible when someone can knock him down a peg. He has a few extraneous rungs after all.

He has so many questions, and none of them have to do with his father. But he doesn't want to dismiss the other man if that's his point of reference. How could it not be? Even if Tony thinks he looks much more like his mother, truthfully. The last bit catches up to him a minute later and he finds himself frowning ever so slightly.

"Am I in danger?" Again, unbothered. Just a simple question like where did you get that shirt?

[inthecold]

Steve's lips turn up into a small smile and he looks down at the rickety table. He can practically hear Peggy say it. He can see the way she would roll her eyes. It's a good memory to have resurface. "Yeah, he was the dumbest genius I ever met."

Steve glances up at the question. He grows more somber, but wastes no time shaking his head. "Not from me." He glances away like he can see past the walls to the enemies lurking out there. "There are people looking for me. They wouldn't think twice about killing you in order to make sure that you can't interfere with their plans. The longer you're here, the more you're putting yourself at risk."

[letmetakeaselfie]

People. In their world that could really only be one of two groups. Honestly, if both of them know about him they both want him anyway. Iron Man is second string compared to the Captain America, even if he doesn't have all his pieces anymore. Tony would honestly love to fight some Nazis right now so bring it on. He blows across the surface of the coffee before taking a measured sip. It isn't exactly the stuff he has flown in from halfway around the world and water-brewed to perfection, but it's coffee. Tony likes coffee in all its many and varied forms, even ones that vaguely taste like dirt.

"I don't know how much you know about... stuff, out there." He jerks his thumb towards the door indicatively. "But there's already a pricetag on my head from about fifty different governments, including this one. I think I'm cool to chill for a minute."

[inthecold]

Steve frowns deeply before taking a sip of his coffee. That old protective urge to bust heads of those threatening his people is still there. He has to force it down once he realizes he doesn't have a right to interfere. He doesn't have a right to anything in all honesty.

"Not enough," Steve confesses without hesitation. He's still in the habit of doing those mission reports. Even if he wasn't, he never was a good liar when it really mattered. "You should be more careful. I'm not worth the risk."

[letmetakeaselfie]

Tony tilts his head to the side like a dog who just can't get the concept of what Steve is saying. That's mostly accurate. "You're Captain America." Like, if anyone is worth "the risk" it's probably him.

[inthecold]

He stares at Tony in open disbelief before shaking his head. "I haven't been Captain America for a long time as far as I know. There's a new one now. Whatever loyalties you have to the name are better spent on him. He deserves them."

[letmetakeaselfie]

"I don't think he's talking to me." It's soft, non-accusatory. Bucky deserves to be pissed, and it's okay. Tony would prefer them to even be tenuous friends again but it doesn't look like that's happening any time soon. "--Wait. Does he know you're...?" Alive. Tony's eyes widen marginally. Weren't they besties at one point? And now Steve is out here, barely existing. It's completely surreal.

[inthecold]

"No." It comes out automatic and defensive. He'd never want Bucky to know because he remembers his best friend. He will drop the entire world and then proceed to fight it in order to protect him. Steve can't let that happen again.

"No one... They don't need to know. The person they want is gone." He looks genuinely panicked which isn't good for anyone. It's occurring to him quickly that he'll need to run soon. The temptation to do it now is hard to dismiss. He can't even say what's holding him back now. (Tony.)

[letmetakeaselfie]

"Okay..." Yeah, Tony's still not getting it. He sets down his coffee and frowns. "But you don't look gone to me." Just saying.

[inthecold]

Once again he's left staring. It should have been obvious from the start what was happening here. Still it's only now that Steve starts to get it. "You really don't know anything." He smiles bitterly, glancing away as he curses his luck for the hundredth time. "Where do you think I was when you were growing up? You must be in your fifties at least. Where could I have gone for all that time?"

[letmetakeaselfie]

"Hey-- hey. Forty-five." Slow your roll etc etc. Where did he think Steve was? At the bottom of a canyon. That's what his father told him, maybe it was naive to believe that when he didn't believe anything else the man ever told him. He blows out a breath and shakes his head. "I thought you were dead." Isn't that obvious?

[inthecold]

It wasn't obvious to him. Steve had been pretty convinced the truth would come out now that HYDRA had crumbled again. He takes in a deep breath through his nose and exhales out his mouth. He never expected to have a chance to share his side of the story. Hell, he never imagined he'd remember his side of the story. The serum is clearly more powerful than anyone ever gave it credit for. The extensive brain damage HYDRA inflicted on him in hopes of keeping him docile didn't stick. It'd be more terrifying if he wasn't grateful for it. The thought of Natalia being stuck taking care of a barely functioning man for the rest of his days isn't appealing to him.

Finally, he settles with: "You weren't wrong." He knows he has to explain. This must be what Tony wants. This is the key to getting rid of him. He still asks anyways. "Is that why you're here? To find out what really happened?"

[letmetakeaselfie]

That statement has him blinking, unsure what it means yet but filing it away anyway. "Are you offering?" Tony counters immediately. If Steve thinks he can shake him so easily, he's got another thing coming.

[inthecold]

He really does, but Steve doesn't realize that yet. The man genuinely believes he'll get rid of Tony sooner rather than later. Just because they look alike doesn't mean he'll be as stubborn as Howard, right? That doesn't make it any easier to talk about.

Steve opens his mouth to try to force the words out. It occurs to him that he never shared with anyone what happened. Natalia already knew so much so the personal details went unsaid. Tony is in the dark. He'll have to say things that he thought would be found out; never openly shared by him. "I'm offering to try if it means you'll be on your way."