If you know what's good for you, stay away from me.

[letmetakeaselfie]

Tony had felt extremely out of the loop following everything. Between Clint and his family and all the team seeming to want nothing to do with him, he had more or less left it be. He and Pepper had had some major date nights to catch up on and Steve and Nat seemed busy training everyone besides. As much as he missed them... Well, frankly, he doesn't feel missed himself and so he stays out of it. At least, overtly.

There had been some interesting bit of intel he'd overheard at the party. Between the Falcon and Cap, no less. Steve's new friend he seemed to trust above the Avengers. Objectively, Tony couldn't fault it. But his gut twisted with the knowledge. He kept it to himself, however, getting to work on his own in secret. It doesn't take long to track down the Winter Soldier all things considered, but he doesn't dare spook him by letting him know he's found. He knows it's time to let Steve in on the secret, but he fears what the other man will think.

He invites him over under false pretenses, not like all their other circumstances hadn't been. They hadn't seen each other since Tony had left HQ, and though he knew a disgusting amount about Steve, no Captain America trivia will help him with this meeting. Tony jumps when F.R.I.D.A.Y. announces the arrival of Cap and his bike, trying to pull himself together enough to tell Steve he went behind his back one more time. Not like he's any stranger to the sensation, but no one seemed to think anything of betraying him and so neither did Tony in the end.

"Hey, pal," he greets warmly, clapping Steve on the shoulder as he shows him in. "How's... everything? Everyone. Do you want coffee? Or, we could order something." He's doing that nervous thing again. Tony swallows and waits for Steve to speak.

Comments

[valuedstrength]

It gets under his skin largely because Tony is guilty of the same. It's one thing when Tony never points out his reckless behavior. The second he does, Steve considers it permission to finally nail him for it. He returns that sharp look with one of his own though he doesn't sound angry. He's annoyed if anything since Tony's follow up softened the blow. He really does appreciate that Tony is taking him on word.

"Look who's talking. When it came down to it, you did the exact same thing I did back in New York."

[letmetakeaselfie]

That gets a laugh. It's hollowed out like the place he goes every time he thinks of that moment; the vaccuum of space. To him, it's nowhere near the same thing, but he can understand the comparison if not welcome it. "Do you want to know what the difference between me and you is?" It's said with a dark humor, but it's a genuine question: if Steve says 'no' he'll keep it to himself.

[valuedstrength]

That laugh sends a chill down Steve's spine. He might have rolled his eyes or dismissed the question if not for it. He finds himself dreading the answer as much as he needs it. "I want to know what you think it is."

[letmetakeaselfie]

Another glance is shot Steve's way, this one sharp like glass but jagged; not a clean break. "I only pick fights I think I can win." He may be spectacularly fucked up, but he doesn't have an actual death wish. Cap does. It's infuriating, and he's sick of playing the world's smallest fiddle for a guy who doesn't even care if he lives or if he dies.

[valuedstrength]

He lets out a humorless sigh in response. "You and I have very different ideas about winning." Steve knows he isn't wrong. He has no personal stake in his fights unlike Tony. It's part of what makes him so effective. His focus never strays to himself. He only wants to get the people around him home. He genuinely doesn't see the problem with that.

[letmetakeaselfie]

"I know." That's all he says for a long time, he's given up on ever truly seeing eye-to-eye with Cap. He's still glad he got that out all the same. He speaks up again almost ten minutes later, conflict tugging his face in different directions even while his eyes remain glued ahead.

"Whatever happens in there... When we see him. I--" He bites into his lip, what is there to say, really? This is the mother of all fucked up situations and of course he volunteered himself. "I hope it's what you're looking for." Tony isn't confident it will be at all, but he's willing to take this chance for him. Why, he still doesn't exactly know. Or refuses to pinpoint it, in any case.

[valuedstrength]

Steve doesn't say anything at first. How can he without turning into the most shut down mess the world has ever seen? The brightening of his eyes is reflected in the window. What he wants is to go back in time and have none of this happen. He can never admit to that; to wanting to go back. He's here now. The most realistic crazy dream he can have is this:

"I just want him to get better." He adds in because it is worth saying, "And thanks."

[letmetakeaselfie]

"Don't thank me." That feels weird, like a transaction. He never wanted things to be so cold between them and yet here they were. He lets out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Does Tony want Bucky to get better? If he's even Bucky anymore. If he even can be, is that even remotely something he's okay with?

Probably not. But this is already out of his hands and spiralling so fast. "I've got your back." It's all he can say that's true, pulling a strange pair of glasses out of his jacket pocket and putting them on. He hopes he won't need the weapon he'd brought; he always hopes. Seldom does it ever work out that way however.

[valuedstrength]

He almost thanks him again before realizing it's not what Tony needs to hear right now. Steve goes with the only safe and honest thing he can offer up under the circumstances. "I've got your back too." He didn't let the Winter Soldier help murder all those people including Tony before. He won't let a scared, confused Bucky murder him now.